Erratic and Interesting

It’s time for another celebrity blog with your friend, Nick Watt. Lisa has written some remarkably wonderful entries on this page, so there’s really not much I can talk about that she hasn’t already touched on. So, I’ve decided not to talk about one topic, but to talk about a few small differences in this country that I think are interesting..

·      It’s pretty difficult to find fresh coffee in Thailand. Well, if you’re at a mall or in the city you can walk into a Starbucks or local coffee shop and have no problem, but even then, it isn’t very good. I now get my caffeine fix from instant coffee. The traditional recipe with just hot water is horrible, but when mixed with sugar and condensed milk then poured in a cup full of ice is quite refreshing....and effective.

·      Thailand needs those special words of wisdom from Bob Barker, because there are stray dogs everywhere.

·      Thai beer is.....okay. My go-to beers are Singha or Leo, with Singha being my favorite. Heineken is widely available, but usually considered top shelf and can get expensive. A normal bottle of beer is about 32 ounces and is usually at about 6 to 7 percent, and yes, I’m still a lightweight.

·      Thais hate the sun. Dark skin means you work outside, usually either farming or construction. Therefore, you have a low status and are looked down upon. The solution to this problem: cover the skin with clothing. It’ll be 95 degrees with humidity that would laugh at Florida’s humidity, and I’ll see a 45 year old Thai woman working construction wearing blue jeans, a long sleeve flannel shirt, gloves, A WOOL SKI-MASK, a hat, and of course, Crocs.

·      A few Thai obsessions: doughnuts, ice cream and CSI.

·      I don’t think speed limits exist here. Police officers don’t really patrol the streets either. Every time I see a cop he’s either posted up on the sidewalk, or directing traffic at a busy intersection. Also, I’ve heard that the government doesn’t provide firearms to police officers. I guess they just buy their own? One cop might have a 9mm and his partner will have a magnum revolver........odd.

·      Twice now I’ve seen a man riding an elephant through the developed and busy streets of the city.

·      Most Thai people have nicknames. It really helps when I acknowledge them in class. Even though I only know maybe, fifteen of my kids’ names out of about a hundred. Popular nicknames include: Earth, Boss, Great, Jedi, Wind, Snail, Eye and Don.

·      We shop at the village market all the time. There is a supermarket close, but it’s still about fifteen minutes away. The village market is a three minute walk and has, in my opinion, better produce than any supermarket around. The meat, on the other hand, is questionable. God knows where the vendor obtained it, how old the meat is and how long its been sitting out in the late afternoon sun. Flies love to hang out around the pork, and especially the squid. How does the vendor prevent this? She has a stick with an air-filled plastic bag tied to the end of it, and she’ll just wave it back and forth over the meat. Works like a charm.

·      I don’t usually drink soft drinks, but Sprite is my drink of choice. Thailand has plenty of Sprite, but it’s twice as sweet and not refreshing at all. I think Coke is the same way, but I never drink that shit so I wouldn’t know. My new soft drink of choice is orange Fanta. It’s still a little sweeter than it is back home, but not bad.

·      I don’t want to lump all Thai men together with this attribute, but they have the most infectious laughter. I noticed it first with cab drivers. They usually can’t speak English very well, but still know a few words. We’ll try to hold a conversation, and one of us will inevitably get lost in translation or mispronunciation. All you can do is laugh it off, and when they start giggling, you can’t stop. Honestly, just like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

·      Cell phones are a huge status indicator. Every kiosk at every mall sells them, and they’re always busy. As a teacher, I have a pretty high status and it’s pretty well known that I make a hefty amount of money. However, when students or teachers see my phone they notice it’s a Sony Ericsson, circa 1999. Confusion ensues.

·      One of my favorite and most interesting things about living over here is the association with the other English teachers from all over the world. In our apartment complex we have: English, Irish, Welsh, Dutch, Mexican, Canadian, Russian, Chinese, Romanian and Filipino teachers. I have to admit the English are my favorite. Discussing the differences in our languages is hilarious and endless. The real fun will begin next month. “Football” season starts and everyone is a die-hard fan of a certain team. I still call it soccer every once and a while, followed by the guys “taking the piss out of me”. I want to join the fun, so I told them to give me a team to support. I let them know I wanted a team that was slightly above average, but never really amounts to much. We settled on QPR (Queens Park Rangers) from west London. Believe me, they’ll be the out-of-nowhere frontrunners by December.

·      Lastly, don’t think I’ve forgotten about College Football. I’ve been asked on more than one occasion who that “Bobby Bowden guy” is on my shirt. I get to show the Brits how real football is played while they show me how a few guys kick a ball around a “pitch”. The Florida State Seminoles, 2011 National Champions.

Hope you enjoyed these tidbits. Thanks for reading!

         

                                                               Your pal,

                                                                 Nick